Play is often considered an impractical activity that should only be engaged in for recreational purposes. Nevertheless, mental health professionals are discovering that play is an essential element of human happiness and a form of communication for children. Play is an enjoyable activity that elevates an individual’s mood, and can expand self-expression, self-knowledge, and self-efficacy. Furthermore, play is an additional language for children that they harness to relieve feelings …
This memory frequently comes back to me in my work with clients. I worked the first shift during my undergraduate studies at a Panera Bread. This meant coming into work at 5 a.m. every Saturday and Sunday. My job was to prepare the cafe to open which included slicing loaves of bread and putting all of the bagels and pastries out. One morning my boss came to me and …
Finding a therapist can already be a challenging task, but when you get referred out to a specialist, it can be especially frustrating. In this article we are going to tackle the question, “What is EMDR?”! This popular evidence-based treatment is now becoming the #1 treatment for Post Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD) and many other mental health diagnoses. EMDR stands for Eye-Movement Desensitization and Reprocessing. Now, that is a …
We live in a Veruca Salt world, don’t we? You know, Veruca—the quintessential spoiled little girl from Roald Dahl’s classic, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? If you’re like me, you know Veruca best from the movie adaptation starring Gene Wilder. Even now I can picture her singing at the top of her lungs about everything she wants, a goose that lays golden eggs being at the top of that …
Over and over God calls us into a deeper, more loving, more peaceful relationship with Him. His perfect love is sufficient for us, it heals the most painful wounds, it shines a light in the dark places, it gives peace to the chaos. He draws us closer to Him by calling us to let go of fear and to focus our thoughts on gratitude. In Philippians 4:6, He promises …
As a play therapist I follow a certain model of setting limits and expectations. This is the ACT model developed by Gary Landreth. The model goes like this A- Acknowledge the feeling C-Communicate the limit T-Target the alternative I use this model so much that recently I found myself doing it while walking my dog. He’s a very sweet black lab named Sam. My ACT limits with him went …
Every year around this time, grief pays me a visit. In the beginning, grief was my constant companion. It was there when I awoke and never left my side. While I dreaded its very existence, I also found a strange comfort in its presence. I felt validated by my grief while simultaneously resenting that it was always there. While I recognized grief’s grasp, I believed then that it was …
Photo By: Shawn Rause Pulling-out weeds is terrible. My mom has one heck of a green thumb and as a chore she would make me pull weeds for hours in the hot North Carolina sun every year. To make it worse North Carolina’s soil is a hard orange clay, so it is hard to dig with your hands. At some point you need a tool or two to help. …
When I think about all that our nation—and the world—is experiencing with regard to the coronavirus and COVID-19, we all are impacted in many different ways. Our routines have been dramatically altered, the health of loved ones is in question, physical contact with family and friends has become minimal, employment is unstable, our freedom to shop anywhere we desire is no longer an option, and statistics are sobering as …
“Be anxious for nothing, but in everything by prayer and supplication, with thanksgiving, let your requests be made known to God; and the peace of God, which surpasses all understanding, will guard your hearts and minds through Christ Jesus.”Phillipians 4:6-7 When your child is spiraling out of control with negative thinking it can feel like there is no way to stop them, no way to intervene, that everyone has …
Waiting for the news of a diagnosis, waiting for your son to find the courage to make the right choice, waiting for your marriage to heal, waiting to feel more content in your job, waiting for the pain of the past to stop interfering with your present… If only you could know the future maybe then the waiting wouldn’t be so painful. If you could have a small glimpse into …
Feeling fear and anxiety? Be anxious for nothing, God’s got you!Feeling sadness and grief? Have hope in eternity! Focus on what’s yet to come.Feeling overwhelmed? God will never give you more than you can handle. These responses are merely “emotional band-aids” that do little to treat the gaping wounds of our hearts. What if there was no such thing as a “bad emotion”? The unspoken rule in our society …
The word for “sincere” in Italian is sincero. “Sin” means “to be without.” “Cero” is the Italian word for wax. It was a term used in the practice of pottery. Artisans would mold a vessel out of clay and place it into a kiln in which the clay would harden under intense heat. Cracks would often form in the vessels as they were pulled from the heat into the cooler air outside of the …
What is the greatest gift God can give you this Christmas? I don’t know what you or your family may be walking through this Christmas, but I do know if you have felt loss and suffering at any level in the past days, months or years, this Christmas could be very difficult for you.Depending on the grief, trial, or pain you are experiencing, your answer simply may be for God …
Accepting “what is” is a theme that God has been working out in my life for many years. Acceptance doesn’t mean approval, endorsement, or even liking the circumstances. It simply requires a mental and heart-felt shift from resistance to submission through acknowledging and embracing the reality that whatever is, “IS”. Each of us can identify with the notion that, in various areas of our lives, we would have chosen a …
If you’ve flown on any commercial airline you’ve heard the safety presentation offered prior to takeoff… If there is a drop in cabin pressure panels above your seat will open revealing oxygen masks. If this happens pull a mask towards you until the tube is fully extended. Place the mask over your nose and mouth. Slip the elastic strip over your head and adjust the mask if necessary. Breathe normally …
This is a true story. The names and some details have been changed in order to protect the identity and confidentiality of the person about whom I am writing. There is a house down an old country road that is in severe disrepair. You wouldn’t know someone lived there were it not for the lights on at night and the silver car parked outside. It is nestled among the trees …
Have you ever ventured out or thought what it might mean to get your heart back? That question usually stirs up one of two immediate reactions: Wow! How great would that be? or What do you mean? I never lost my heart! The first is usually from men or women who have experienced pain in their lives and realize that they have never really fully recovered. Those pains can take many forms, but …
“The Spirit of the Lord is upon me, because he has anointed me to proclaim good news to the poor. He has sent me to proclaim liberty to the captives and recovering of sight to the blind, to set at liberty those who are oppressed, to proclaim the year of the Lord’s favor.” Luke 4:18-19 These words are Jesus’ Mission Statement. The rest of the Luke demonstrates how he fulfilled …
We often see clients struggling with anger, sadness, stress at work or at home and even with violent outbursts toward others. There is a common thread shared among so many of them, especially when the clients are men. Many, many times, men say, “I feel lost” or “Something is missing” or “I just don’t know who I am.” This lostness or lack of identity is a very real concern, and …
Plato said, “We can easily forgive a child when he is afraid of the dark. The real tragedy is when men are afraid of the light.” These words capture the essential truth of his famous “Allegory of the Cave.” A profound social commentary, Plato exposes the tendency of humanity to settle for what is familiar, rather than to pursue the true nature of reality and adapt accordingly. As a clinical …
For many, weight loss seems like a never ending battle against the scale. One day we are down a pound, the next we are up two. There are a great many challenges that keep us from reaching our goals such as daily stresses at work or in life, a lack of time for exercise, a lack of understanding about nutrition, or simply unhealthy eating habits. I’m afraid there are challenges …
Relationships are complicated. We come together seeking to share our lives with another person and needing to feel loved. We want to be supportive, responsive and make our best friend happy. Why do we end up fighting? One way to explore the problem is through the lens of Attachment. We all need to feel that someone has our back. That is how we can take the risks necessary to explore opportunities …
This is the time of year when we celebrate the birth of Jesus, give gifts, and enjoy friends and family. It can be a wonderful time, but for some it’s a depressing time. Today, I was playing tennis with a group and overhead a discussion by a couple of women from the other team. One of the women had been married for 25 years, but recently separated from her husband …
Have you ever asked God for something – something good, something within God’s will – and yet the answer was…no? Have you struggled with what to believe and how to feel when God doesn’t fix something broken in your life? If so, I’ve been there too, and am still there. I’ve prayed for years begging God to fix “it”, but it’s not been fixed. At times, I’ve visualized myself crawling …
Relationships can be hard. Some more than others. With each person we find ourselves moving to a different dance and doing our best to follow the steps, but recognizing we might step on toes or not know the way everytime? There is grace (hopefully) as we learn and grow together, but sometimes this is not always the case. Sometimes we must leave the dance and realize we gave it our …