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This memory frequently comes back to me in my work with clients. I worked the first shift during my undergraduate studies at a Panera Bread. This meant coming into work at 5 a.m. every Saturday and Sunday. My job was to prepare the cafe to open which included slicing loaves of bread and putting all of the bagels and pastries out. One morning my boss came to me and …

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We live in a Veruca Salt world, don’t we? You know, Veruca—the quintessential spoiled little girl from Roald Dahl’s classic, Charlie and the Chocolate Factory? If you’re like me, you know Veruca best from the movie adaptation starring Gene Wilder. Even now I can picture her singing at the top of her lungs about everything she wants, a goose that lays golden eggs being at the top of that …

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As a play therapist I follow a certain model of setting limits and expectations. This is the ACT model developed by Gary Landreth.  The model goes like this A- Acknowledge the feeling C-Communicate the limit T-Target the alternative I use this model so much that recently I found myself doing it while walking my dog. He’s a very sweet black lab named Sam.  My ACT limits with him went …

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Photo By: Shawn Rause Pulling-out weeds is terrible. My mom has one heck of a green thumb and as a chore she would make me pull weeds for hours in the hot North Carolina sun every year. To make it worse North Carolina’s soil is a hard orange clay, so it is hard to dig with your hands. At some point you need a tool or two to help. …

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Feeling fear and anxiety? Be anxious for nothing, God’s got you!Feeling sadness and grief? Have hope in eternity! Focus on what’s yet to come.Feeling overwhelmed? God will never give you more than you can handle. These responses are merely “emotional band-aids” that do little to treat the gaping wounds of our hearts. What if there was no such thing as a “bad emotion”?  The unspoken rule in our society …

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The word for “sincere” in Italian is sincero.  “Sin” means “to be without.”  “Cero” is the Italian word for wax.  It was a term used in the practice of pottery.  Artisans would mold a vessel out of clay and place it into a kiln in which the clay would harden under intense heat.  Cracks would often form in the vessels as they were pulled from the heat into the cooler air outside of the …

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What is the greatest gift God can give you this Christmas? I don’t know what you or your family may be walking through this Christmas, but I do know if you have felt loss and suffering at any level in the past days, months or years, this Christmas could be very difficult for you.Depending on the grief, trial, or pain you are experiencing, your answer simply may be for God …

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Accepting “what is” is a theme that God has been working out in my life for many years. Acceptance doesn’t mean approval, endorsement, or even liking the circumstances. It simply requires a mental and heart-felt shift from resistance to submission through acknowledging and embracing the reality that whatever is, “IS”. Each of us can identify with the notion that, in various areas of our lives, we would have chosen a …

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If you’ve flown on any commercial airline you’ve heard the safety presentation offered prior to takeoff… If there is a drop in cabin pressure panels above your seat will open revealing oxygen masks. If this happens pull a mask towards you until the tube is fully extended. Place the mask over your nose and mouth. Slip the elastic strip over your head and adjust the mask if necessary. Breathe normally …

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This is a true story. The names and some details have been changed in order to protect the identity and confidentiality of the person about whom I am writing. There is a house down an old country road that is in severe disrepair. You wouldn’t know someone lived there were it not for the lights on at night and the silver car parked outside. It is nestled among the trees …

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Have you ever asked God for something – something good, something within God’s will – and yet the answer was…no? Have you struggled with what to believe and how to feel when God doesn’t fix something broken in your life? If so, I’ve been there too, and am still there. I’ve prayed for years begging God to fix “it”, but it’s not been fixed. At times, I’ve visualized myself crawling …

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